Thursday, May 7, 2009

Happy Mother's Day, Mom

Those of you who follow this blog know that my Mother died last September, after a battle with Alzheimer's. The last two years of her life were painful for her as well as her children. Before that, Mom was still Mom and as Mother's Day comes around again, I find myself remembering the good years and letting the bad years slip through my memory with little impact.

Mom was a wise woman. When we had trouble with relationships, she had the answer, although she never gave advice until we asked. When we didn't know what to do when life pounded us as it will now and then, she set our attitudes back on track. She was calm, logical and loving in all her wisdom.

She raised 8 kids on a ranch hand's salary, but she never complained about that. Instead, she rose to the challenge with dignity and energy. Wild food, shopping skills and knowing what was important and what wasn't, allowed us to live high on the hog when we didn't have one. Everything we had was used to the utmost.

Being poor, people gave us things. Clothes, mostly, and often clothes that no one, including us, wanted. Mom was gracious in accepting them and then she made them into something we did want and need. Sweater sleeves were made into mittens, rags into rugs, skirts into aprons.

Mom was shy all of her life. She never went places she didn't have to go, but the school Christmas program was a have-to. I always thought she was so pretty, sitting there alongside Daddy with a small smile on her face.

After I grew up and got married, I still turned to her, as all her kids did, for grounding in reality. She never once spoke against any of our spousal choices. Her daughters in law called her "Mom."

Everyone respected her. I'm not sure how that happened; I can't isolate any one thing she did to cause it. Daddy told us one time, "Your Momma's a lady. Don't you ever forget that." And she was.

I'm not the only one of the kids who turn to the phone to call her when life gets the best of me before I realize she's not there at the other end any more. She is still "there" in my mind, though. There are some things death cannot take away from you.

So, on this first Mother's Day after you've passed over, Mom, I know you're waiting for us. I just want to say Happy Mother's Day. I love you.


  1. Oh, my dear, I feel your pain. How terrible that you lost your mom, and even worse to the dreaded disease of Alzheimers.

    I can understand some of what you went through, and are still going through. 11 years ago, my mom passed away from complication of Alzheimers. The last 2 years were indeed the worse for her and her family. I miss Mom and think of her every day. Most of the memories of her are pleasant ones.

    Please know that my thoughts and prayers will be with you.

    Fondly, Peg

  2. My sympathy goes to you, also, Peg. I don't think one ever gets over losing a parent or sibling.

  3. Pat,
    My Mom died last August so it is my first Mother's Day without her, too. It is good to remember the funny, courageous, sweet things she said and did for her 5 children. I have started to write some of thses down for my grand daughters, too. I appreciate her even more now that I am the Matriach of the family. Your description of her on the other side helps me too. Thanks for sharing. Peace, Ruthellen

  4. I'm glad to have helped even a little, Ruthellen. Writing things down for your grandchildren is a wonderful thing to do for them and for yourself - and for your Mother.